Latter-day Saint Speaks to National Interfaith Women's Forum


AUCKLAND New Zealand - “When I was a young girl living with my father, the missionaries from our church would call over and my dad would mostly turn them away,” Melanie Riwai-Couch told participants at this year’s National Interfaith Forum held in Auckland recently.
“On a good day,” she added, “they might get fed lunch, but dad would not go out of his way to make them feel welcome.
“My dad was a person who kept late hours. He smoked heavily and had quite a few rough friends. We had very little money and living with a solo parent father in the eighties was not common.”
Ms. Riwai-Couch was one of a panel of speakers representing a broad range of religious backgrounds. Excerpts from a transcript of her address, titled: ‘My Faith Journey,’ follow:

Developing Self-worth
My dad was the youngest of sixteen children; he was born and raised on our family marae in Blenheim. He and my mother had four daughters – I am the youngest. Parenting was not something that came naturally to my dad, but after my mum left when I was five years old he was all I had so we stuck together.

I knew my father had been baptised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a vague memory of him being dressed in white and being surrounded by lots of people beside a swimming pool. But that was when my mother lived with us. After she left my father he never attended church again.

So my father, the one who would turn away the missionaries when they would knock at the door even though they were there to offer help, was also the man who would send me as a ten year-old-girl to buy the missionaries groceries to make sure they had enough to eat. He was the one who would fix their bikes, find them furniture for their flats, and drive them to church when it was raining.

He would never come in to church for Sunday meetings – I would be dropped off in the car park and if I couldn’t find a ride home I would either walk home or call dad to pick me up.
I do, however, remember him coming to my baptism when I was ten years old. We sung the hymn “I am a child of God” and when I passed my dad a hymn book he said he didn’t need it as he already knew the words.

The words of that hymn say:
“I am a child of God, and he has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home, with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do to live with him some day.”

At church I attended the children’s primary classes and later youth classes. There I was taught that I was a daughter of God and that I had divine potential. The people I saw at church were often a stark contrast to those I experienced in my home life. I couldn’t help but notice that they seemed to have a countenance of hope. They weren’t perfect people, but people who wanted to do and be good. I also knew that most sat in families and that I sat by myself.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe in eternal families. We believe that before birth we lived with a loving Father in Heaven and that we chose to come to earth to gain a body and live our lives. We choose to be baptised and to receive the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. We have the opportunity to be obedient to the commandments of God. We can be kept together in eternal family units by making sacred covenants in Holy Temples. This means that marriage and families do not end at death, families are forever.

I cannot begin to share how far this doctrine felt from my own reality growing up. And yet I knew that when I was at church I felt more whole than when I wasn’t. I felt God’s love for me. I began to believe in my own self worth.

Marriage
Being married to Jared has been life changing for me. It is the first two parent family I have ever been a part of. Eternity is a long time to spend together so there is good motivation to work hard at keeping our relationship working well.

Serving Others
Service is a key component of our religion. Through service to others we serve God. I know what a difference it makes to families who don’t have everything they need to have people willing to help them. We are all unpaid volunteers at all levels ― our missionaries, bishops and other church leaders ― but service helps to build a strong sense of community and allows us to be contributing members of a family-like congregation.

My husband just finished serving for six years on a regional presidency and is now back serving with the youth in our local congregation. My callings presently are being the national family spokesperson for the Church and the Christchurch area director of public relations.

In the scriptures it says with God nothing is impossible, and I decided quite a while ago that if anyone needed a miracle it was me.

When I was a girl I had a poster on my wall that said: “Lord lift me above my own narrow horizons that I might fulfil your true vision for me.” This has been a major influence on my life as I have tried to focus on what God would have me do and my spiritual potential rather than on my physical limitations.

Faith in Jesus Christ
I know first-hand that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ changes lives for the better. I know that the opportunity to worship and have a relationship with Christ transforms good to great and great to better. I feel his love daily; with his help I am able to be more understanding, more loving and more forgiving. I have learnt first-hand that Christ can heal un-healable wounds. I can seek forgiveness for my many shortcomings, I have a relationship with my Savior and I know that he loves me and knows me as an individual.

Strengthening Family
As an adult I have been able to form a loving relationship with my mother. While she now lives in Australia we talk almost daily. I appreciate her being in my life and the love she shows to me and my family.

Despite leaving school at 16 I worked my way through university and teachers college. I taught briefly before becoming a lecturer and then a senior lecturer training secondary school teachers for nearly a decade. I completed my Masters degree ten years ago and have begun my doctorate.

There is a saying that “No success can compensate for failure in the home” and so we prioritise family first. In the world it is interesting to see how people react to our beliefs – such as not drinking alcohol and not shopping on the Sabbath.

In our home, a daily routine of family prayers and scripture reading before breakfast as well as weekly family home evenings once a week, family activities, and church attendance is a formula that works.
Living this way helps us to excel and contribute to our communities while making sure the best of our energy and self is reserved for family and serving God.

Faith – A Constant Power in My Life
And so friends, my faith journey so far has been one of finding myself and finding God, letting the Savior heal me, magnify my life and guide the decisions that I make. Being a Christian, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints influences every moment of every day. It is not a Sunday activity lived in isolation, but a constant power in my life that I embrace and express my gratitude for this day.